ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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