Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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