Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
