That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize