I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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