i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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