If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
How external is "for external use only"?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
