The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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