a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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