Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
