Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
