I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
