i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
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he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
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Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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