roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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