Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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