a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
