Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
there is glitter all over my balls
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