just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
