Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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