True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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