Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
