Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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