you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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