we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
