my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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