Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
