.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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