I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
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