non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize