i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize