I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
