do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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