Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
