Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
