Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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