Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
