Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
