We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
