i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize