Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
