I just saw a hot homeless man
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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