i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
