those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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