yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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