It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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