I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
