She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
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he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
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Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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