new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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