Im at strip club and am horny
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize