the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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