You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is Oprah even human
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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