so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
