was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
