you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
