the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
