I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
