We're facebook friends in real life
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
