I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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