I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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