Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
