Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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