The maid of honor just puked.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
