I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
