Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
