and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
