how do flat chested girls get laid?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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