everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
