I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
