best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize